Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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