So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize