I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize