the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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