Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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