I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
