hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize