Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
