So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
