Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
