When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize