benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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