The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
