based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
