I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
