yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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