He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
