I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
