He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
