LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
