U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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