so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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