i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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