I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
