Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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