so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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