I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
