i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
