Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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