You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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