I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
