Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
