i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize