Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
