i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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