she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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