Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
