thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
