Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
