Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
