i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize