Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
