im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
