Umm I'm too high to move.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you never un-have a 4some
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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