I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
