There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
are you so shy because you have an std?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
