i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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