capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize