Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
