apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
