U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
