Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
