I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
too bad you live with your parents still
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
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I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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