I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
