We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me