Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...