Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder