We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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