I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
