When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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