your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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